Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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