how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Less talking, more tequila
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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