Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
