Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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