Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Randomize
