Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
