yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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