community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
