so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
