why didn't you poke me back
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
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