Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
