we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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