who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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