Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
