turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
