I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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