is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
