I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
