I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
be right there i have to get my cape
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
