i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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