she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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