census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
