Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
