well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize