last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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