Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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