A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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