I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
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