I didn't shave. On purpose
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
