So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
