she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
