No stitches, just platelets and will power
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I have tasted many bathrooms
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