i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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