Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
