I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
