i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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