I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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