I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
