Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
