Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
