how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
