I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
