I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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