Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
