omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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