hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
we're so committed to being not committed
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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