My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
