It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
