Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
