The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
